Yeah, this has been Friends Only for like 3 years now, and this banner is a little late, but.... Better late than never. ^_^



Thanks to joyfulsong!

I'm so tired. n.n

Birthday Countdown: One Day

*~Marielle~*

Perfect by nature
Icons of self-indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that
Never was and never will be
Have you no shame, don't you see me
You know you've got everybody fooled

Look, here [he] comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh, how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
But now I know [he]
Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

Without the mask where will you hide
Can't find yourself lost in your lie

I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore

It never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

It never was and never will be
You're not real and you can't save me
Somehow now you're everybody's fool

*~Marielle~*

Killing, cheating, stealing, pollution, experiments on animals, egosentric people...

You know what I hate the most?

People who lie to me.

*~Marielle~*

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

*~Marielle~*

Looking at my last Calc test, I don't know what EXACTLY my grade is, because it looked like she put down a grade, did some re-calculations, and put down another one. I dunno, because in one answer, it looked like she was marking it correct AND wrong at the same time. I'm gonna check with someone tomorrow. But if it's wrong and my own calculations are correct, I won't be GETTING Honors this quarter, with or without a good score on a next quiz. If it's wrong, I think I should just erase one of my wrong answers, put the right one, and make her change my grade. I don't care if it would be cheating. If I have to cheat to get a good grade in that class, then fine. I don't care anymore. I won't even bother studying, because you know what? This is what upsets me: Even if I do study, even if I do know the material, and even if I do every single problem in that chapter for an hour and a half as preparation for a test, I still do badly on it. That makes me so pissed off. There are people in that class who just get it right away, don't care, don't study, and they do well. Me, even if I do know the material, it doesn't even matter; I still do bad on the quizzes and tests anyway, so why even bother studying. It's just a waste of my time if I study and not get a good grade out of it.

Don't even bother giving me my report card next month, I already know what my parents will say: You're stupid, it's math, math is supposed to be your best subject. You won't get accepted into college now once they see that grade. If you know the material, then you shouldn't have gotten bad grades. It's because you're always on the computer and watching TV. If I say, "Well, what do you think I'm doing in my room all the time?" they'll say that I'm probably sleeping. Or doing something else. They'll be all pissy because my name won't be on the fucking bulletin for Honors at church. They'll say I don't work hard enough. They'll probably take away my voice lessons while they're at it. And if I make States, they'll probably not let me do that either since I'd be missing school for rehearsals. I won't be able to go to Alyson's house and go see Luke in Philly.

You know what, just say it to me now: I'm stupid, and I won't get into college. Oh, they've said to me I was stupid before, too. When I was getting 70s and stuff in Freshman Biology. I know, logically, I will get into college because my rank, GPA, and SAT score are good enough for the schools I'm looking at, and since Calc is an AP/Level 1 class, my GPA won't move, since our GPAs are weighted anyway. An 80 in a Level 1 class is considered a 3.0, so with my 90s and stuff in my Level 2 classes (considered 4.0 for Level 2/College Prep), it shouldn't hurt my GPA at all.

But anyway, back to the point. n.n It doesn't matter how hard I work in that class or how well I know the material. I knew the material pretty damn well, too. And I can't talk to the teacher about it, because like last year, she'll say that "I'm not doing bad in that class," because this is Mrs. "Remember-a-60-in-AP-Calc-is-NOT-BAD."

Someone just shoot me and get it over with.

*~Marielle~*

LOL. Some of these are SOOOOO true.

You Know You're From Pennsylvania When...

You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly." And New Jersey has always been "Jersey." You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA." "You guys" is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women. You know how to respond to the question "Djeetyet?" (Didyoueatyet?) You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd, Duquesne, New Tripoli, Tunkhannock, Punxsutawney, Tamaqua, Susquehanna, Allegheny, and Monongahela. You know what a "Mummer" is, and are disappointed if you can't catch at least highlights of the parade. The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school holidays. You can use the phrase "fire hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye. You can't go to a wedding without hearing the "Chicken Dance," at least one Polka and either an Italian song (sung in Italian,) or "Hava Nagila." At least 5 people on your block have electric "candles" in all or most of their windows all year long. You know what a "Hex sign" is. You know what a "State Store" is, and your out of state friends find it incredulous that you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart. You own only three condiments "A-1, Heinz 57 and Heinz ketchup". Words like "hoagie", "crick", "chipped ham", "sticky buns", "shoo-fly pie", "pierogies" and "pocketbook" actually mean something to you. You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know others who do the same. You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Summer Sausage (Lebanon Bologna), and Hot Bacon Dressing. One of the highlights of your life was a field trip to Penn's Cave and Horseshoe curve. You know exactly what to do when your mother tells you to "red up" your room. You know the time and location of every "wing night" in a 20 mile radius. You don't think people from Philly or Pittsburgh talk funny. You don't understand all the hype about Rolling Rock beer; You've been drinking it for years even though Iron City is better. You consider an exotic vacation to be a trip to Ocean City, Virginia Beach, or Myrtle Beach. Words like "hoagie", "chipped ham", and "pop" actually mean something to you. You think very little of an Amish buggy on the road. You learned long ago how to "step carefully" around the buggy tie-ups in the supermarket parking lot. You can go 2 weeks in winter without sunshine and think this is normal. You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Virginville, Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are all PA towns. There is no such thing as a "Philly Cheesesteak". It's just called a "Cheesesteak." You know that Eucre is a card game and not a form of vomiting. You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know that it comes in several colors: Red, Blue, White, Brown, Gold. You know what REAL potpie is. You ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast. Your turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly, NOT "dressing." You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike. When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand. Know that Yuengling is pronounced "Ying-ling," and believe that it really is a premium beer You know that a green pepper is not a pepper at all but a "mango". You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word "snow." You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn chips, pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or that packages turkeys, beans, or bologna. You can stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the "honor system." You know what REAL pot pie is. YOUR turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly, NOT "dressing." You know that chicken corn soup from a fire house is the most nearly perfect food on earth. You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today," and "They're calling for snow." You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs. You only buy your beer and soda by the case. You think the roads in any other state are smooth. You know the Penn State cheer, and although you've never attended Penn State, you are a most obnoxious Penn State fan. Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn't bring you to the window to see what's going on outside. You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the Gettysburg Battlefield. You prefer Hershey's Chocolate to Godiva. School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town has its own school district. You have the Rolling Rock bottle memorized: "From the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium beer for your enjoyment. . . . " Elect pro-life Democrats and pro-choice Republicans for Governor Frequently go "with," e.g., "You going to the market? Mind if I come with?" Refer to something as "a whole nother," e.g., "That's a whole nother issue." You REALLY HATE antiquers. On Sunday mornings you would scream "Go back to Jersey!" at least once on the way to church. When you were a kid and somebody really pissed you off, you said, "I'm gonna deck you!" You know the expression, "Hey naw! Watchya dewin'?" You know where to buy "Opera Fudge" and that it has absolutely no connection to the Opera. The only Jewish people that you've ever met have been from New York or New Jersey. You love the Phillies (unless they stink) in which case you love the Orioles (unless they stink) in which case you solemnly swear that you've never even liked the Phillies or the Orioles, but have always been a Penn State fan. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Pennsylvania.

*~Marielle~*

I have never been so enlightened by someone preaching to me about faith before. The only time I've ever felt the love from God and His works and His word and the strength in my faith this way was during a Sonicflood concert.

Thank you, Lyssa. <3 you lots.

*~Marielle~*

I'm smiling once again.

Friends - and anime - work wonders.

Thanks, Lyssa. And yes, I was listening to you. :P

*~Marielle~*

I would like to thank kurayamitenshi for allowing me to use these precious Cardcaptor Sakura icons that she made:





^.^ Thanks again!

*~Marielle~*